Full moon January 16, 2022.
It was the full moon on January 16, for me the full moon is a time to illuminate the seeds, desires, intent that I planted on the new moon. I was walking on the beach in Maui close to sunset. Asking myself the question What do I WANT? What am I harnessed to, which is a question my friend Lorna posed, and do I love what I’m currently harnessed to. I am divorcing and moving into a time of great change in my life. This is my chance to go in any direction I want. What do I WANT my life to be?
I was a few steps into my walk when the first answer popped into my mind. I want community, I want to live in community with women where each of us carries part of the load, where I only have to cook a delicious vegetarian meal once a week for everyone and I know that there will be someone else cooking the next day. I want to have fresh vegetables, a garden bursting with produce and life, but I cannot manage the one I have alone. I want to be able to leave the property to visit my kids and travel without worry. I want someone else I can count on to let my flock out so they can free range, to gather the eggs and spread the dried worms when I cannot.
Then I asked, could I do it, live with many women in my space. What would it be like for me. I am an introvert, I love solitude and I actually crave being alone. So this community of women would have to value alone time, the meditative approach to living. I was thinking about how I don’t like to be talked to in the morning, when I’m in the kitchen on the way to my office, because I am already focused on writing and any conversation takes me out of imagination, morning dream time that I bring to my writing. Then as always, I started solving that problem. If people are in silent contemplation, maybe we wear a color or have a hand sign to let others know. It is part of my nature to solve problems, to immediately SEE a solution! I started envisioning the drum circles we might have, the morning dream sharing, yoga together under the stars, meditation and writing classes, an art room where all the supplies are on hand and all you have to do is create. In this community the focus would be on health, love, healing, peace. Here we would support each other to fulfill each of our life’s purpose. I started to FEEL in my body this lifting as if all the heavy weight I’ve carried was gone. With just the thought that a community like this, one I could create, could exist if it is what I WANT. This is possible, I could live in community with women who are on a sacred path.
I was thinking all of this when I came upon a group of people standing together and watching something. I almost asked them what they were looking at when I saw a sea turtle crawling out of the water. Well, I’ve seen many sea turtles this week in Maui up close, two on my sunrise walk with my daughters. So I almost turned around until I realized that there were twenty or more turtles who had already crawled up on the sand. I thought they were rocks. There they were peacefully resting together. Some in the shade others in the sun with their front legs buried. One was riding the waves landing on the sand and waiting for the next big push of water to move a little bit closer to solid land.
Just as I was asking the universe if I could live in community? Would I find the peace and alone-ness I crave if others were living in my space. The turtle community appeared before me, blending into the rocks to the point I almost didn’t see them. A community who swam out of the ocean individually, one at a time, but who communed on the same beach for the night. I wondered if they slept here every night, and if so, how had I not seen them on my other trips to this beach? But of course I knew, as spirit is known to do, she waited until I asked and was open to her answer. I knew in this moment that spirit was answering my question, spirit was saying YES, I could create a community, I could live in this community. We would swim to shore alone with our own lives purpose, and rest together in the security of the community we create. I allowed this sacred moment to wash over me. I smiled and then laughed, this sacred moment happened because I expect spirit to answer my questions and so she did. I expect nature to show me how to live and so she did.